THE SHERIFFS OF GAMBIA

They’ve found me again. What has happened to my spam filters, if not my Norton McAfee anti-virus, anti-bacteria software? This one goes by the name of Sheriff Mustafa, from the Wild West of Gambia. He claims to be a professor and is the ‘father of many children.’ It seems that most of these have lost contact with the Prof because he was accused by the Gambian Government of mismanaging the country’s funds when he was working in the Ministry of Finance a few years ago. I would have thought that that was almost a pre-requisite of the job. Anyway, he had to flee to Great Britain, to seek political refugee asylum under United Nation rules for the security of his life in London. He also got himself a BT Internet email address. His unadventurously named son, Ibraham Mustafa Sherriff (no ‘Carry On’ references, please, this is serious), who lives in Canada, has told Sheriff Mustafa that wants to invest in a very good business in my country (I assume he is referring to the United Kingdom, which is now surely Sheriff Mustafa’s country as well, as he lives in London). Sheriff Mustafa wants me to help his son Mustafa Sheriff guide and invest £3.5 million dollars that he, the father, has salted away in various Swiss bank accounts. This seems a significantly risky approach to take, as my record on financial management is not much better than his. Sheriff Mustafa is adamant, however, that he does not want Mustafa Sheriff to ‘mismanage the money.’ I would also have to tell the pair of them that you have to go a long way in this recession to find a good business around here. Rather than appearing to be a damp squib on this occasion, I won’t get back to him with my full names (Ronald, rather than Ron), telephone numbers or, God forbid it, occupation. There are some things that are better not discussed and my occupation is one of them.