I chaired the Annual General Meeting of Haddington Badminton Club for the twenty-first consecutive year last night. I normally take apologies for presence, rather than for absence, so few people normally turn out, but for once there was a decent muster sitting on deal chairs facing myself and the rest of the three-man committee. The agenda looked much the same as in previous years and, in fact, no-one realised I was reading from the wrong agenda until we were halfway through the meeting.
Haddington’s first team won a cup for the first time in 61 years. I looked around the room and fancied I spotted some people who were members then.
We discussed shuttles. ‘Is there a correct way to store them? someone asked. ‘In the dishwasher’ someone pithily replied. I chair these meetings with a light touch.
The subject of team selection was brought up, always a thorny one. The women want the men to pay far more attention to their diaries, to mark the games down well in advance, so that the selectors don’t have to keep chivvying male players at the last minute, only to be told that that player has to drop out because he has a more pressing engagement, usually involving alcohol. “If we can do it, why can’t you?” one lady wailed, accusingly. “’Coz we don’t care” was the rejoinder from the back of the hall.
When it came to election of the office-bearers, we had the same guilty looks and foot-shuffling as we always get because no-one wants to volunteer for anything. On such occasions, the practised chairman fastens on the most malleable member, usually female, and says: ‘We’re looking for a contribution from every Member, and I’m not certain that you’ve put your name forward for anything.’ Thus shamed, the malleable one volunteers for everything from floor-sweeping to hostess.
We discussed fees. They’ve been fixed at the same price for a number of years and the club has healthy reserves, so there’s no real point in putting them up. However, we have the same argument every year – ‘Surely it’s better to put up fees incrementally each year than fix fees for five years and then suffer the shock of seeing them go up by 20% all at once.’ ‘Oh, dry up,’ from the wag at the back of the hall.
We ranged over a number of other topics of varying importance. On the social front, we will have a Christmas meal in January. We will have a quiz before Christmas Eve. We will go skittling in the spring, but we can no longer go ten-pin bowling because they’ve knocked the bowling emporium down.
After two hours, the final and most important decision was made - I was re-elected unopposed as Chairman for the 22nd year in a row.
It’s alright – I’ve already drawn up the agenda for next year.
