I was feeling unhappy about some footling thing or other the other day when I picked up a fax from ‘a firm abroad’ which cheered me up immediately and immensely. It was from an import/export company and I reproduce its delicious English below:
"Dear sir, I heard of your company from my friend and was informed that you are in the market of magnets. I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce our company to your Excellency. We stand for more than twenty-six years of experience in the field of magnet, and the magnet amount of exporting are more than 34 million US dollars in 2000. There are more than 200 factories specialize in manufacturing magnets. Till now we have established stable business relation with all well-known companies in the field of magnet. We are manufacturing following magnets and magnetic assemblies: Hard ferrite magnets, Isotropic magnets, Samarium cobalt magnets, rubber magnets, soft magnets, pot magnets, magnet channels and magnet sandwiches. I look forward to receiving your positive reaction. "
His Excellency is positive. He must buy a magnet sandwich and see what it tastes like.
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Short humorous essays about aspects of life, travel and personal misadventures. There's a touch of Patrick Campbell here, Ian Mackay there and Alan Coren somewhere else. No subject too frivolous to explore.
Please read 'The Unpublished Humorist'
1 comment:
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